lamadeliadalai:
i honestly after all this time do not get the bi vs pan distinction
like i’ve just read so much and so many different things and yet it doesn’t click in my head?
It’s probably because the idea of bisexuality is defined in so many different ways. The original definition was meant to mean attraction to both males and females - ‘both’ sexes. But the world is being more open to the idea nowadays that there are more than two sexes, so it confuses things. So now a lot of people who identify as bisexual use it to mean they are attracted to the same as them and different from them, which they’re using to encompass pretty much everyone - though that mindset tends to be more associated with pansexuality, which people generally associate with ‘ability to be attracted to any person.’
But I think the distinction for me is more that… bisexuality by that definition, as I understand it (and I mean no offense to anyone if this is wrong or anything, I don’t proclaim to be a master of sexualities BY ANY MEANS, and like I said yesterday, I feel as if all people need to just adapt whatever label they want, if they want one, to their lives and how they feel personally regardless of what other people think or say or feel), focuses more on the sexual aspect of it. Not sexual meaning the ‘having sex’ aspect of it, but meaning ‘of or related to a person’s sex.’
It may mean you’re capable of being attracted to any of the genders (though technically, by definition, you’d think it would only mean attraction to two of them, due to the ‘bi’ part of it, but again, to each their own), but at least the way I understand pansexuality for myself is that… the gender/sex doesn’t matter at all to me. It isn’t a factor in who I fall for, I guess? I, personally, fall in love with personalities. I couldn’t care less what body that personality is in. I fall for people who make me laugh, and who I can have good long conversations with, and who I miss terribly when we’re apart, and who make me feel loved and special and… none of that is dependent on what parts you may or may not have or what you may or may not identify as.
I don’t know if this was at all helpful. I’m quite tired after babysitting for hours tonight. But that’s the way I feel about how I label myself, at least. Yeah.
that first paragraph where you explain “bi” as standing for “the same as me” and “different from me” instead of “male” and “female” is honestly the first time I’ve been able to coherently understand that distinction and how people explained bisexuality as being more than two genders. I’ve respected it before now, just not quite grasped the concept. So yeah, this is SUPER helpful. I’m proud of you for sharing this and proud of you for being able to articulate it so well. <3
