How do you document real life?

Hi, I'm Lauren!
(or rdm, if you prefer the shorter name with the longer story)

I'm 23, a university student and a self-confessed music nerd.

Here you'll find Glee, Disney, Sherlock, fic, musicals, pretty people, pretty things and my ramblings.
Oh and I have a tendency to overshare. Don't say I didn't warn you.


like, i understand why ladies who are attracted to other ladies cling steadfast to the very few canon f/f ships out there. i get it. they’re all we have.


i am very tired of this trend whereby we idolise unhealthy relationships between women.

i ship a fair few questionable ships, i’m not saying you can’t. shipping can be cathartic, it can be an indulgence for things which are not acceptable in real life relationships, it can help you better analyse healthy and unhealthy relationships dynamics.

the problem at large with the femslash fandom is that there is no admittance that these ships are problematic. for example, i’m a sansa/sandor shipper, and a good percentage of meta i read about them discusses the problem of power dynamics between the two, sandor’s bad treatment of her, sansa’s naivety and youth, etc. sansan shippers (in general) tend towards full and open admittance of the sizeable problems with the ship, and work to avoid the pitfalls of bad fic tropes, unhealthy depictions of the two, etc etc.

i have never encountered this with any of my interactions with femslash fandom. i have to work very hard to seek out critical analysis of, for example, cosima and delphine from orphan black. this ship is not a healthy ship. delphine repeatedly betrays cosima’s trust and even denies her full control over her body at some points. delphine is in a relationship with someone under her medical care and that is not a healthy balance of power.

now, that’s not to say you can’t ship them. like i said above, i myself have ships which are unhealthy or have other issues to contend with, such as age differences or trust issues. but you need to be aware of these issues. you need to discuss them and bring them to light to ensure that younger members of your fandom do not mistakenly idolise these unhealthy relationships. you need to make it clear that these relationships should be confined to the realm of fiction.

another example. alex and piper in orange is the new black are a compelling couple and have great onscreen chemistry, i can’t lie. but alex emotionally manipulates and abuses piper, in some cases explicitly because piper is multisexual. for example, the line “never fall in love with a straight girl” places the blame on piper for leaving despite the fact that alex was putting her in danger and ignoring her, erases piper’s multisexuality, and this theme continues throughout the series with alex’s behaviour. if this had happened between two male characters or a male/female pairing, you bet your arse there would be tons of discussion about multi erasure, abuse cycles, and so on. i’ve found maybe three posts on this website which discuss this in any detail.

i get it, guys. we have limited options. there aren’t many canon femslash pairings. but for the love of god, this is not an excuse to ignore or heaven forbid condone abuse simply because it’s two women. these discussions need to be had and i’m not seeing it.

posted 1 day ago with 21 notes - via sansaofhousestark

"I wouldn’t necessarily mind people not knowing I’m gay, but I don’t like being thought of as straight — in the same way that I don’t mind people not knowing I’m a writer, but it would be awkward if they assumed I was an extreme skateboarder, because that’s so far removed from the reality of my life. But there is no blank slate where orientation is concerned; we are straight until proven otherwise. And if you’ve never seen how dramatically a conversation can be derailed by a casual admission of homosexuality, let me tell you, it gets awkward."

posted 4 days ago with 28,886 notes - via thetimesinbetween ©



I was trying to explain to my grandma what being bisexual meant and saying that I looked at ladies butts and she was all
"You’re not GAY everyone checks out ladies rear ends" and my sister was like "I have never wanted to look at a ladies butt"
Later my grandma called me and was like “I THINK I MIGHT BE A LITTLE GAY”


posted 1 week ago with 351,025 notes - via mistress-owns-this-princess © gambleorcs

The Forsaken: A Rising Number of Homeless Gay Teens Are Being Cast Out by Religious Families 


This is actually a really, really well done article. long but absolutely worth the read. So glad that a magazine as big as Rolling Stone is publishing content saying, “Hey, people, we may be patting ourselves on the back about marriage equality these days but there are much bigger issues still being swept under the rug.”

posted 1 week ago with 5,774 notes - via stackedcrooked © pacerlabs


*whispers*… support all ace people.

All of them. Everyone of the goddamned spectrum. Most of us spent too long feeling very broken or confused to later get told we dont get to be part of the one community we feel we relate to.

Sex repulsed ace? You’re great. I I know exactly what that’s like.

Sex positive ace? Man thats awesome. Whether it’s just from a like casual interest or curiosity in it as a fascinating topic or as an active participant because you like how it feels. If you arent attracted sexually to people you’re ace too and still welcome here.

Grey-a? I bet that was really confusing to figure out man, im so glad you’re here. Don’t worry I promise you’re awesome too, youre not a “fake” or anything like that.

Demi? You go, dude. Being attracted to your partner or someone you have that bond with doesnt make you less a part of our community. It doesnt meanmyou were “never really ace” or that now you’re totally allosexual. Demi is just as valid as other orientations.

Basically anyone that feels like they are part of the ace spectrum is awesome and you belong here, fuck what other people tell you.

Unless you’re a raging asshole and like a murderer or something. Then you arent awesome.

posted 2 weeks ago with 8,946 notes - via pebblegosling © coffee-and-corsets


Seriously though, if you don’t think asexual representation is important, you need to get educated, because it is really hard to live in a sex-centric culture and not be interested in sex. 

I have seen so many posts about finding out about asexuality after joining tumblr and you know what word almost all over them have in common? Broken. 

And that’s fucked up. 

posted 3 weeks ago with 27,926 notes - via edenwolfie © vanishedschism

body talk II: the sum of all my (private) parts 


So I wrote a terrifying, sort of TMI post about medicalising trans narratives and asking people to justify their bodies?



(**Constantly tbh.)

posted 4 weeks ago with 29 notes - via into-the-weeds © needsmoregreendragons


Ivan Coyote - To all of the kick ass, beautiful fierce femmes out there

posted 4 weeks ago with 4 notes - via thetimesinbetween


New Documentary Highlights Discrimination Within the Black Lesbian/(and Bisexual) Community

The Same Difference is an hour-long documentary about lesbians who discriminate against other lesbians and bisexual women by Nneka Onuorah, an associate producer for BET.

“It’s almost like a gang,” Onuorah tells ELIXHER. “This is the criteria. This is what you have to do or you’re not a part of it, you’re not in it, or you’re not real. I thought that was ridiculous” … she wanted to start the conversation and shed some light on those issues …

So far, the teaser has been well received. The LGBT community wants to see it because they are living this every day…

Her fundraising goal is $15,000 and the money raised will go to production costs for her to complete the film. Onuorah does not want to only get the major city perspectives that are always seen. She wants to talk to people in states like Utah, Arkansas, and Washington … she also wants to make sure the message is heard by everyone, not just the lesbian community.

“It’s the same difference,” she says. “It’s not like we [lesbians] just face discrimination or we discriminate against each other and have stereotypes. This happens in the African American [heterosexual] community. From culture to culture, we’re doing this to each other. You can take the ‘lesbian’ out of the film and it will still be as powerful”The Same Difference is sure to spark a national dialogue around identity and the way we police one another. Give what you can to help make this important film happen. Donate here.

posted 4 weeks ago with 4,374 notes - via yellowis4happy ©

WATCH: A Trans Dad on Telling His Kids About Gender 




posted 4 weeks ago with 70 notes - via thetimesinbetween © projectqueer