Pratchett is Gilbert and Sullivan to the Wagner of Tolkien’s Ring

THE WORST PUN

OH MY GOD

ALSO ACCURATE ANALOGY IS ACCURATE

anniephantom:

labirdgeoiseed:

this is my favorite goofy pun ever, I have told it at least five times

I don’t care, fuck you

okay ready

as you all know, saint patrick walked barefoot as an act of contrition, which made his feet rugged and blistered. he ate an ascetic’s diet, which made him weak and additionally gave him bad breath.

all of this made him

a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis

oh my god

the single greatest (lamest) thing anyone has ever said to me 

• me: (at the office printer, waiting for my files to print)
• him: hey
• me: hey!
• him: you were prime sneaking-up-on material before, but i let it go
• me: that was big of you
• him: it was
• me: (smacks the printer) these prints are taking forever
• him: really?
• me: really
• him: so you're like Snow White then
• me: what?
• him: you know
• him: waiting for your prints to come

kickingshoes:

Omg

georgetakei:

We know your cellist.

snuggle-monster:

lizclimo:

how to be cool 

HAHAHAHAHAH

Megan’s cheese jokes 

meowmaddie:

Forgot to post these from the other night..

What’s the best cheese to use to hide a horse?
Mascarpone.

What kind of cheese speaks to itself?
Halloumi.

What type of cheese did Adam and Eve eat?
Edam.

Did you hear about the cheese factory in France that exploded?
There was de-brie everywhere.

I just Camembert anymore of these cheesy jokes..

tiltherewasyou:

i love you melbourne. (Taken with Instagram)

maskitheclown:

butts-disease:

johnisdollywood:

I’m gonna throw my computer in the trash.

god

fucking

dammit

shut up this is genius :D